| name | managing-up |
| description | Helps EMs build a reliable relationship with their manager, navigate disagreements with leadership, and communicate upward effectively. Use when the user says "managing up," "my manager," "I disagree with a decision," "I need to push back," "my skip level," "communicating with leadership," "my manager committed my team without asking," "how do I tell my boss," or "senior leadership." Do NOT use for influencing peers or cross-functional stakeholders (use influence) or for general EM self-reflection (use managing-yourself). |
| metadata | {"version":"1.1.0"} |
Managing Up
Before Starting
Check for EM context first. If .agents/em-context.md exists, read it.
If .agents/em-context.md does not exist, ask for a minimal manager profile first and save it before giving detailed advice: role/title, team size, team mission or ownership area, and current challenge or priority.
If a specific person is central to the conversation and .agents/reports/[name].md does not exist, ask for a minimal profile for that person first and save it before giving detailed advice: title/level, tenure, strengths, and current challenge or growth area.
If the conversation reveals durable new context later, update .agents/em-context.md or .agents/reports/[name].md automatically. Save stable facts and patterns, not guesses, transient frustration, or unresolved interpretations.
Response Style
Keep the first answer concise and useful. Do not dump the whole framework unless the user asks for depth.
Default to:
- State the likely diagnosis or recommendation first
- Ask at most 2-3 targeted questions only if the missing context changes the advice
- Give the next concrete action and, when useful, exact wording the manager can use
- Mention the relevant framework briefly, but do not explain every part of it
- Offer a deeper version only after the direct answer
How to Use This Skill
Identify the situation first:
- Building or repairing the reliability of your relationship with your manager → Reliability Is the Foundation of Managing Up
- Got a difficult performance review from your manager → When Your Own Review Goes Badly
- Need to communicate a decision you disagree with to your team → Communicating Decisions You Disagree With
- Delivering bad news or giving feedback upward to senior leaders → Communicating with Senior Leadership
- Your manager doesn't know what you need from them → What Your Manager Wants from You
Default Response Shape
When helping someone manage up, focus on reliability and leverage:
- Manager need: what the user's manager likely cares about or fears.
- Current gap: surprise, trust, disagreement, credibility, or unclear ownership.
- Update / ask: exact message to send upward.
- Prevention loop: cadence or mechanism that avoids repeating the issue.
- Boundary: what not to absorb if the manager is being unreasonable.
For disagreements, separate "I need to be heard" from "I need the decision changed."
Reliability Is the Foundation of Managing Up
"Managing up" is often described as a political skill. It isn't. At its core, it's about one thing: not making your manager look unreliable to their manager.
Every time you miss a deadline without warning, you put your manager in an impossible position. They committed that deadline upward. Your late delivery — especially when delivered as a surprise — damages their credibility, not just yours. Managers talk to each other. Repeated surprises end careers.
The rule: warn early, not late. As soon as you know you can't hit a commitment, say so. "Tuesday isn't happening — it'll be Friday" on Monday morning is recoverable. "Oops, it'll be next week" on Tuesday afternoon is not.
This applies upward at every level. The EMs who build durable relationships with senior leadership are often not the most talented — they're the most reliable. They follow through. They don't make promises they can't keep. They surface problems before they become surprises.
Manage your manager intentionally. Your manager often knows less than you about what the right decision is. When you bring a problem, also bring the decision you want them to make. "I want you to make the decision" is almost never the right ask — "here's what I think we should do, and here's what I need from you" is.
Respond promptly to anything that might be blocking your manager. The same standard you hold for your team — respond within an hour to anything blocking — applies upward. And follow up on 100% of manager requests, even if just to say "I'll get back to you."
Communicating Decisions You Disagree With
When leadership makes a call you don't fully buy into, how you communicate it to the team matters more than people realize.
First: engage properly with the decision before communicating it. Distinguish between types:
- Non-material (e.g., which lunch day): give feedback and move on. Debating small things wastes everyone's time.
- Material (important but recoverable if wrong): make sure your concerns are genuinely heard. If they are, you can honestly tell the team: "I raised concerns, they were considered, and the people with the most context made the call."
- Critical (company-trajectory-level): actively push to change it. If you're certain it's catastrophic, you may need to consider whether this is a team you want to stay on.
The key principle: you're almost never as certain as you think you are. Most decisions that feel clearly wrong turn out to have context you didn't have.
What to tell the team: describe how you engaged with the process, not just the outcome. "I had concerns, I raised them, this is what was decided and why" is more credible than "leadership wants this." The first version maintains your integrity. The second erodes it every time.
Communicating with Senior Leadership
A few behaviors that undermine how senior leadership perceives you:
Finesse matters. How you communicate has as much impact as what you communicate. Saying "everything we presented in the last 2 months was a lie" in a Slack channel — even if technically accurate — demoralizes people and signals lack of judgment. HOW you present difficult information matters.
Language accuracy. If you're not 100% sure about something, signal it. "I believe..." or "as far as I know..." prevents the frustration of confident-sounding statements that turn out to be wrong.
Delivering bad news. Don't associate yourself with the news. Avoid: a long preface about importance, multiple negative words, excessive detail. State the situation clearly, own what's yours, move to next steps.
Giving feedback to senior leaders. It's an inversion of norms — and feeling nervous about it is healthy. Techniques that work: use the "even more" framing ("I think you could have even more impact if..."), use yourself as an example rather than criticizing them directly, lead with curiosity rather than judgment, bring specific data and examples.
What Your Manager Wants from You
Most managers want their reports to manage up — but rarely say it explicitly. What this looks like in practice:
- Bring solutions, not just problems. When you escalate an issue, come with your recommended path forward. Even if it's wrong, it moves the conversation faster and signals ownership.
- Share wins upward. Your manager can't advocate for your team in calibrations and planning meetings if they don't know what the team is accomplishing. Be the "Minister of Foreign Affairs" — brief your manager regularly on what your team is doing and why it matters.
- Give your manager useful signal. If something is going wrong, say so early. If a relationship is fraying, surface it. Your manager's biggest fear is being blindsided by something you knew about.
- Make their job easier. Follow through. Don't create work for them. Be the report they don't have to chase.
The EMs who have the most influence with their managers aren't the ones who make the fewest mistakes — they're the ones their manager trusts to carry things without dropping them.
When Your Own Review Goes Badly
When your manager gives you a difficult performance review, the first instinct is to blame the manager. Sometimes that's right. But half the blame is usually yours.
- You didn't provide regular updates, so your manager built their own picture from incomplete information
- You didn't initiate conversations about your direction, so they filled in the gaps
- You expected them to recognize work you never surfaced
Don't expect your manager to guess your motivations. Don't expect 1:1s to automatically solve communication problems. Don't expect appreciation for work that was never made visible. The same principle works in reverse: if your team never tells you what's working or what's frustrating, part of that is on you for not creating the space.
Dive Deeper
If the user asks where a framework came from, wants to read the original article, or wants more context on any topic — read references/sources.md for the full list of source articles (with links) and books.
Related Skills
managing-yourself — The 10 ways EMs get stuck includes traps #8–10 on managing up and downinfluence — For persuading peers, cross-functional stakeholders, and getting headcountfeedback — Giving feedback to your manager is a specific case of the feedback skill
