drama-triangle

name	drama-triangle
description	Karpman Drama Triangle analysis for communication and conflict. Use when reviewing emails, proposals, or scripts for hidden drama dynamics, coaching difficult conversations, analyzing interpersonal conflict, or reframing victim/hero/villain patterns into Creator/Challenger/Coach alternatives.

Drama Triangle Analysis

Analyze communication for unconscious drama roles (Victim, Persecutor, Rescuer) and reframe toward empowered alternatives (Creator, Challenger, Coach).

The Three Drama Roles

Victim ("Poor me")

• Stance: Helpless, oppressed, powerless
• Hidden payoff: Avoids responsibility, receives attention
• Markers: "I have no choice," "They made me," "I can't," "It's not fair"

Persecutor ("It's your fault")

• Stance: Critical, blaming, controlling
• Hidden payoff: Feels powerful, deflects vulnerability
• Markers: "You always," "You never," "You should," "Because of them"

Rescuer ("Let me save you")

• Stance: Helpful, martyred, superior-through-service
• Hidden payoff: Feels needed, maintains control
• Markers: "Without me," "I'll fix this," "You need me," "Let me handle it"

People rotate between roles within a single conversation. Rescuer becomes Victim ("After all I've done, this is how you treat me?"), Victim becomes Persecutor ("I've suffered enough, now it's YOUR turn"). The rotation is the signal - when someone shifts roles mid-conversation, they're in the triangle.

The Empowered Alternative (TED)

Drama Role	Empowered Role	The Shift
Victim	Creator	"What do I want? What can I create?"
Persecutor	Challenger	"I challenge you to grow" (with respect)
Rescuer	Coach	"What do YOU see? How can I support YOUR solution?"

Creator focuses on outcomes and owns choices. Challenger speaks truth with care and holds accountability without blame. Coach believes in others' capability and asks questions instead of giving answers.

Analysis Workflow

Step 1: Identify the Cast

For each party in the communication, determine which role they've been assigned:

• Who is positioned as helpless or wronged? (Victim)
• Who is positioned as the problem? (Persecutor)
• Who is positioned as the savior? (Rescuer)
• Which role is the author implicitly claiming?

Step 2: Check for Role Rotation

Look for statements that shift between roles in the same communication (e.g., the Rescuer→Victim and Victim→Persecutor patterns described above). The shift mid-communication is the tell that the author is inside the triangle.

Step 3: Find Hidden Payoffs

For each role assignment, evaluate what it accomplishes:

• Does it avoid accountability?
• Does it create false urgency or dependency?
• Does it diminish someone's agency?

Step 4: Reframe to Empowerment

Rewrite each drama-laden statement using Creator/Challenger/Coach stance:

Instead of...	Use...
"I got you this"	"I'm proposing this"
"They won't unless..."	"This creates alignment"
"You have to because..."	"Here's why this works"
"I'm the only one who..."	"Here's my contribution"
"They abandoned/hoarded/failed"	"The current structure is X. I'm proposing Y."
"I deserve / I've earned"	"I'm proposing... because..."
"Without me, this would..."	"Here's what I want to build..."
"I need..."	"I'm proposing..."

Step 5: Apply the One-Liner Test

The author should be able to state their core message without making anyone a victim, making anyone a villain, or positioning themselves as the hero.

Drama version: "I fought to get the team this raise from management, who've been hoarding the budget." Clean version: "I'm proposing we restructure comp because aligned incentives drive better outcomes."

For Conversation Prep

Before a difficult conversation, evaluate:

1. Does my core message pass the One-Liner Test? (no one cast as victim, villain, or hero — see Step 5)
2. What's my honest want? (state it in one sentence)
3. How do I respect everyone's agency? (they can choose, they're capable)
4. What's the mutual benefit framing? (not "I'm sacrificing for you")

See references/conversation-audit.md for a detailed audit checklist to apply line-by-line. See references/language-patterns.md for a comprehensive list of drama markers organized by role.