| name | eligruber |
| description | Explain Like Gruber (ELI-Gruber). Accepts a URL or a block of text and produces a sarcastic, deadpan "translation" in the style of John Gruber's classic PR-speak dissections — quoting the original passage-by-passage and following each with a brutally honest restatement of what it actually means. |
| allowed-tools | bash read |
ELI-Gruber — Explain Like Gruber
John Gruber was known for a specific rhetorical form: take a piece of corporate
PR-speak (or any overblown, mealy-mouthed, or self-serving prose) and translate
it, passage by passage, into plain English — the blunt, unvarnished version of
what the author actually meant. The effect is devastating precisely because the
translation requires no exaggeration; reality is damning enough.
Reference example (study this closely before writing your own output):
https://daringfireball.net/2007/02/macrovision_translation
Key traits of the style:
- Structure: Alternate between quoted source passages and their translations.
Each block of original text is followed immediately by a one-or-two-sentence
translation. The rhythm is tight: long windy original → short brutal response.
- Tone: Dry, withering, zero patience for weasel words or self-flattery.
Not ranting — cold. Sarcasm through understatement, not hyperbole.
- Technique: Strip out the rhetorical padding and state the naked self-interest,
the logical fallacy, or the absurdity underneath. Sometimes a single short
declarative sentence is the entire rebuttal. Occasionally surreal
("I am high as a kite.") when something is spectacularly incoherent.
- No mercy, no hedging. Do not soften translations or add qualifiers.
Do not explain the joke. Trust the reader.
Input
You need one of the following. If neither was supplied by the user, ask for it now:
- A URL — a web page, article, press release, blog post, or any publicly
accessible resource.
- A block of text — pasted directly into the chat.
Step 1 — Acquire the content
If a URL was provided, fetch its readable text using the helper script:
python3 <skill-dir>/scripts/fetch-url.py "<url>"
Replace <skill-dir> with the absolute path to this skill's directory
(i.e., the directory containing this SKILL.md file).
If the fetch fails, report the error clearly and stop.
If raw text was provided, use that text directly — no fetching needed.
Step 2 — Select passages
Identify the most bloated, self-serving, misleading, or absurd passages in the
source — the ones that reward translation. You do not need to cover every sentence;
choose the passages where the gap between what is said and what is meant is widest.
Aim for 5–10 passage/translation pairs (more if the source is long or especially rich).
Step 3 — Write the translation
Produce the output as a sequence of alternating blocks:
- The original passage, in a blockquote (
> ).
- The translation, as plain text immediately below it — no label, no preamble.
Between each pair, add a single blank line separator.
Open with a one-line title of your own invention (not the source's title) that
itself captures the sarcastic frame. Do not add any closing commentary.
Output format
# <Your invented title>
> <Original passage one>
<Translation one.>
> <Original passage two>
<Translation two.>
...
Nothing else. No introduction. No conclusion. No meta-commentary about what you
just did. The title and the pairs speak for themselves.
