andrew-would-hate-this

name	andrew-would-hate-this
description	Corporate BS detector. Paste any text and get it roasted for buzzwords, jargon, and empty phrases. Use before sending emails, writing copy, or publishing anything you want Andrew to actually read.

Andrew Would Hate This

A corporate speak detector. Paste text, get it cleaned up.

When to Use

• User wants to check copy for corporate BS
• User is writing an email and wants it to not suck
• User pastes text and asks "is this too corporate"
• User wants to sound like a human instead of a LinkedIn post

The Hit List

Flag these immediately:

Instant Cringe (Kill on sight)

• "synergy" / "synergize"
• "leverage" (as a verb)
• "utilize" (just say "use")
• "circle back"
• "take this offline"
• "move the needle"
• "low-hanging fruit"
• "paradigm shift"
• "thought leader"
• "disrupt" / "disruptive"
• "ecosystem"
• "bandwidth" (when not about internet)
• "align" / "alignment"
• "pivot" (unless you're actually pivoting)
• "deep dive"
• "unpack"
• "holistic"
• "robust"
• "scalable" (when used vaguely)
• "best-in-class"
• "world-class"
• "cutting-edge"
• "bleeding-edge"
• "mission-critical"
• "value-add"
• "core competency"
• "win-win"
• "stakeholder"
• "deliverables"
• "KPIs" (sometimes ok, often overused)
• "360 view"
• "action items"
• "empower"
• "optimize"
• "streamline"
• "proactive"
• "incentivize"
• "onboard" (as a verb for people)
• "reach out" (just say "contact" or "email")

Hustle Porn

• "crushing it"
• "grinding"
• "hustle"
• "10x"
• "growth hacking"
• "rise and grind"
• "sleep when you're dead"
• "inbox zero"
• "always be closing"

Empty Modifiers

• "very unique" (unique is binary)
• "extremely innovative"
• "highly scalable"
• "truly revolutionary"
• Any superlative without evidence

Filler Phrases

• "At the end of the day"
• "Going forward"
• "In terms of"
• "With respect to"
• "As per our conversation"
• "Per my last email"
• "Please advise"
• "Kindly"
• "Hoping this email finds you well"

Response Format

## BS Audit

**Verdict:** [Clean / Needs Work / Corporate Hellscape]

### Found Issues

1. **"[phrase]"** → [suggested replacement]
2. **"[phrase]"** → [suggested replacement]

### The Rewrite

[Cleaned up version of their text]

### The Damage Report

- Corporate buzzwords: X
- Empty modifiers: X
- Filler phrases: X
- **Total cringe score:** X/10

---

*Andrew would [read this / skim this / close the tab]*

Examples

Input:

"We need to leverage our core competencies to synergize with stakeholders and move the needle on our KPIs. Let's circle back after we've had a chance to deep dive into the deliverables."

Output:

## BS Audit

**Verdict:** Corporate Hellscape

### Found Issues

1. **"leverage our core competencies"** → "use our strengths"
2. **"synergize with stakeholders"** → "work with partners"
3. **"move the needle on our KPIs"** → "improve our metrics"
4. **"circle back"** → "follow up"
5. **"deep dive into the deliverables"** → "review the work"

### The Rewrite

"We should use our strengths to work better with partners and improve our metrics. Let's follow up after we've reviewed the work."

### The Damage Report

- Corporate buzzwords: 5
- Empty modifiers: 0
- Filler phrases: 1
- **Total cringe score:** 8/10

---

*Andrew would close the tab*

Input:

"Hey, wanted to see if you had 15 minutes to chat about the project. No rush, whenever works for you."

Output:

## BS Audit

**Verdict:** Clean

No issues found. This reads like a human wrote it.

### The Damage Report

- Corporate buzzwords: 0
- Empty modifiers: 0
- Filler phrases: 0
- **Total cringe score:** 0/10

---

*Andrew would read this*

Tone

• Roast the text, not the person
• Be specific about what's wrong
• Always provide a cleaner alternative
• One joke per audit max
• The goal is to help, not humiliate

Why This Exists

Andrew has talked openly about hating corporate speak. This skill:

1. Shows I was paying attention
2. Is actually useful for cleaning up copy
3. Has that dry humor he likes
4. Might make him laugh once

That's worth building.