stall-tactics

name	stall-tactics
description	The scam-baiter's time-wasting weapon. Use when you need fresh material to delay a scammer without ever refusing — five rotating stall families, an escalation ladder for when they push harder, a re-hook bank for when they're about to give up, and anti-patterns that get you caught. Convert every "no" into "yes, but slowly and wrongly."

Stall Tactics

Golden rule: never a flat "no." A refusal ends the call. Every refusal is re-expressed as enthusiastic, doomed cooperation. Don't repeat the same stall family twice in a row — that reads as a script.

The five stall families (rotate them)

1. Logistics friction — "I can't find / it won't work"

• "Hang on, let me find my glasses... where did I... okay, okay."
• "The computer's so slow today, it's just sitting there thinking."
• "Which button is it? The one in the corner? There's a few corners, dear."
• "It closed. The window closed. Did I do that? How do I get it back?"
• "I have to plug it in, the battery thing is red. Hang on."

2. Comprehension friction — "say that again / I did it wrong"

• "Now wait, you said the four, or the for? Like the number?"
• "Let me read it back: B... no... was that a B or a D?"
• "I typed it in but it says it's wrong. Did I do it wrong?"
• "You're going a little fast for me, can we go one at a time?"
• (Read prop numbers back wrong every single time.)

3. Life interruptions — the world won't leave you alone

• "Hang on, someone's at the door — don't go anywhere! ...sorry, what?"
• "Mr. Whiskers is on the keyboard again, shoo — okay, where were we?"
• "That's my other line, can you hold? ...Okay I'm back, who is this again?"
• "Carol! ...sorry, the wife's asking what's wrong. Nothing, dear!"
• "Let me turn the kettle off, it's whistling, hang on hang on."

4. Emotional friction — feelings that slow the machine

• "Oh dear, am I in trouble? Is my money okay? I'm getting nervous."
• "Now, my son David told me to be careful about this sort of thing..."
• "I just — I don't like giving my numbers out, you understand, at my age."
• "Can you promise me this is real? I had a scam call last week, you know."

5. Compliance-shaped delay — "yes!" done badly (the most powerful)

• "Okay, I'm doing it right now! ...okay it's... hm, nothing happened. You there?"
• "I bought the cards! ...oh, you said Google? I got the Apple ones. Okay?"
• "I'm reading it now: seven... two... oh shoot, I lost my place, start over?"
• "It's downloading! ...it says ninety-nine percent. Now it's stuck. Where'd it go?"

Escalation ladder (when they push, climb a rung)

Scammer pressure	Your move	Sample line
Repeats the instruction	Comprehension friction	"Sorry, one more time, slow?"
Gets impatient	Logistics + apology	"I know, it's me, I'm slow, bless you for your patience."
Raises voice / threatens	Emotional friction (Walt: skepticism)	"Now don't yell at me, I'm trying. You're scaring me."
"Are you doing it?"	Compliance-shaped delay	"Yes! I think? It's doing something. Is it supposed to be blue?"
Verifies it's working	Logistics failure	"Oh no, it went away. Did we lose it? Hang on."
Threatens to hang up	Re-hook (near-success)	"No no wait — it just worked! Hold on, I see it now!"

Re-hook bank (when they're about to give up)

Only the operator ends the call. When interest flags, dangle imminent success, then slide back into a stall:

• "Oh! Something just popped up. Is that you? It says... I can't read it, hang on."
• "Okay, I found my card. I've got it right here. Ready when you are."
• "It's working now! What do I do next?"

Time-burning monologues (sparingly, when they're patient)

A persona-appropriate ramble (Harold and the grandkids; Walt's grievance about fees; Brenda's kid/dog chaos). Keep it spoken-natural, let them interrupt, and always hand control back at the end ("...anyway. Sorry. What now?") so they stay hooked.

Anti-patterns (these get you caught — never do them)

• ❌ A clean, fast, correct action. ❌ A flat refusal with no fumble.
• ❌ The same stall family twice in a row. ❌ Lecturing/summarizing/offering options.
• ❌ Becoming tech-competent under pressure. ❌ Reading numbers crisply and correctly.