| name | story-pitch |
| description | Creates compelling story pitches for novels, screenplays, TV series, and short fiction including loglines, synopses, comp titles, and query letter components.
Use when the user asks to pitch a story, write a logline, create a query letter, draft a book synopsis, or prepare a pitch package for agents or producers.
Do NOT use for business pitches or investor decks (use business pitch skills), full plot outlines (use plot-outline), or writing the actual story (use short-story-writing).
|
| license | Apache-2.0 |
| metadata | {"author":"foundry-skills","version":"1.0.0","tags":"creative-writing writing proposal","category":"writing","subcategory":"creative-writing","depends":"","disclaimer":"none","difficulty":"advanced"} |
Story Pitch
When to Use
Use this skill when:
- A user wants to write a logline, query letter, or synopsis for a novel, screenplay, TV pilot, limited series, or short fiction collection
- A user needs to prepare a full pitch package for literary agents, acquisition editors, film/TV producers, or development executives
- A user wants comp titles and market positioning language for a completed or in-progress manuscript or script
- A user is preparing for a pitch session at a writing conference (AWP, Thrillerfest, RWA, BEA, SCBWI, Austin Film Festival) or a speed-round pitch to agents
- A user wants to refine an existing logline or query letter that is getting rejections
- A user needs a treatment document for a screenplay or TV project for submission to a production company
- A user is writing a back-cover blurb or catalog copy that requires pitch-level condensation skills
- A user has a story concept they need to pressure-test before drafting -- the pitch itself reveals whether the story has a workable spine
Do NOT use this skill when:
- The user wants a detailed beat-by-beat plot outline for their own drafting use -- use
plot-outline
- The user wants to write the actual story, scene, or chapter -- use
short-story-writing or the appropriate fiction writing skill
- The user is pitching a business, startup, or product to investors -- use the business pitch skill
- The user wants a professional cover letter for a non-creative-writing job -- use career skills
- The user wants a book review, critical analysis, or reader-facing description without agent/producer targets -- use content writing skills
- The user's "story" is actually a personal essay, memoir excerpt, or nonfiction proposal that needs a book proposal structure (which is a different 50-100 page document format) -- use the nonfiction book proposal skill
Process
Step 1: Gather the Pitch Context
Before drafting any pitch material, extract all essential context. If the user provides a manuscript or outline, read it carefully. If they only have a concept, interview them.
- Format and stage: Novel (completed, drafted, or concept), screenplay (spec or assignment), TV pilot (spec or original), short story collection, graphic novel script. Agents for completed adult fiction need the full manuscript ready. Middle grade and YA should be complete. Nonfiction pitches on proposal alone -- know the difference.
- Word count or page count: Industry standards matter. Adult commercial fiction: 80,000-100,000 words. Adult literary fiction: 70,000-100,000 words. YA: 60,000-90,000 words. Middle grade: 20,000-55,000 words. Thrillers and fantasy can run 100,000-120,000 words but anything over 120,000 flags as a first-novel risk. Feature screenplays: 90-115 pages. TV drama pilot: 45-60 pages. TV comedy pilot: 22-32 pages.
- Genre and subgenre: Never let the user say just "thriller" or "fantasy." Drill to the subgenre: psychological thriller, cozy mystery, epic fantasy, romantic fantasy, climate fiction, domestic noir, upmarket women's fiction, new adult, etc. Agents specialize within genre.
- Pitch target: Literary agent, acquisition editor (for small presses accepting direct submissions), film/TV producer, development executive, writing conference pitch session, or Pitch Wars / DVpit-style event. Each requires different format, length, and emphasis.
- Comparable titles (comps): Ask if the user already has comps in mind. Their instincts about their own book are valuable -- and their instincts about comps are often wrong in instructive ways.
- The unique hook: Ask: "What is the one thing about this story that no other story in this genre has?" If the user cannot answer quickly, the pitch needs a concept sharpening pass before writing begins.
- The emotional core: Ask: "What does the protagonist want, what do they need, and what stands in the way?" This is separate from the plot. Agents are looking for plot that delivers emotional and thematic resonance, not just event sequences.
Step 2: Construct the Logline
The logline is the atomic unit of every pitch. Every other element -- synopsis, query, verbal pitch -- is an expansion of the logline. Get this right first.
- The tested structure: "When [inciting incident], [protagonist with specific distinguishing attribute] must [external goal] before/or [ticking clock or escalating stakes], but [core obstacle], forcing them to [thematic choice or transformation]." This is a template to achieve precision, not a formula to follow literally -- the output must read as a sentence, not a fill-in-the-blank.
- The 35-word ceiling: Count every word. If the logline exceeds 35 words, the concept has not been sufficiently compressed. Trim character description first, then reduce the obstacle to its sharpest form. If it still will not fit, the premise may have two competing stories inside it.
- The five elements that must be present: (1) A protagonist specific enough to visualize, (2) an inciting incident that breaks the status quo, (3) an external goal the protagonist is actively pursuing, (4) stakes with a named consequence if the goal fails, (5) a hint of the emotional or thematic tension. Not all loglines include all five in equal measure -- literary fiction may foreground internal stakes; thrillers foreground external stakes.
- What to avoid: Adjective overload ("brilliant but tortured young scientist"), vague stakes ("or lose everything"), passive protagonists who have things happen to them rather than choosing to act, and rhetorical questions masquerading as loglines ("What if the cure was worse than the disease?"). Rhetorical questions do not communicate a story -- they communicate an idea in search of a story.
- Test the logline: Read it aloud to someone who knows nothing about the project. If they say "oh, that sounds like [existing famous story]," you have a comp problem or an originality problem. If they say "I don't understand what happens," the logline has failed its clarity function. If they say "I want to know what happens next," it works.
- Logline vs. tagline: A tagline ("In space, no one can hear you scream") is a marketing line for a consumer audience. A logline is for industry professionals evaluating whether the story has a workable spine. Do not confuse them.
Step 3: Write the Synopsis
The synopsis is the document that agents and producers most misunderstand and writers most dread. There are three versions serving three purposes.
- The one-paragraph synopsis (50-75 words): This appears in the query letter body. It covers the protagonist, the inciting incident, the central conflict, and the stakes. It does NOT cover the ending -- this is the one exception to the "always reveal the ending" rule. This version is a hook, not a spoiler document. It serves the same function as a book jacket copy.
- The one-page synopsis (250-350 words): This is requested after initial agent interest or for some conference pitches. It must cover: setup and protagonist world, inciting incident, first-act turn, midpoint complication, major obstacle, climax setup. It MUST reveal the ending. Include the protagonist's internal arc alongside the external plot. Write in present tense, third person, active voice without exception -- "Yara discovers" not "Yara discovered" or "she will discover."
- The full synopsis (2-5 pages, 600-1200 words): Requested before a full manuscript request or as part of a treatment. Covers all major plot beats, subplots that affect the main plot, character arcs, thematic throughline, and resolution. Should be structured in paragraphs by act, not by chapter. Reveal every major twist. An agent who reads the synopsis and feels surprised by the manuscript is not pleased -- they are confused about what was pitched.
- Common synopsis failures to avoid: (1) Chapter-by-chapter recounting instead of narrative arc coverage, (2) omitting the ending because the writer wants to preserve surprise, (3) including every minor character by name (name only characters whose names are essential to understanding the plot), (4) describing emotional states without showing the actions that create them, (5) editorial commentary ("in a surprising twist...") -- the events should be stated plainly; the structure reveals what is surprising.
- The synopsis should answer four questions: What does the protagonist want? What prevents them from getting it? What must they sacrifice or change to win or lose? How does it end?
Step 4: Select and Frame Comp Titles
Comp titles are not just a marketing gesture -- they are a signal to the agent about the book's commercial shelf, its reader community, and the writer's awareness of the market.
- The 3-5 year rule: Comp titles should be published within the last three to five years. Older titles can be referenced if they are genre-defining classics being used as a third "tone" reference (e.g., "For readers of Shirley Jackson"), but the primary comps should be recent.
- The specificity rule: Do not comp to the bestseller list's top 10 unless the match is precise and the argument is made explicitly. Comping to The Girl on the Train signals "psychological thriller" -- but every psychological thriller in 2015-2020 comped to it, which made the comp meaningless. Find the book that is three levels below the mega-hit that hits the same notes.
- The dual-axis framework: The best comp pairings work on two axes -- "the [TITLE A] of [TITLE B]" or "[TITLE A] meets [TITLE B]" -- where one comp signals the plot/genre and the other signals the tone, voice, or thematic territory. Example: "The tension of Sharp Objects with the historical world of The Women by Kristin Hannah." This communicates more than any two comps from the same genre subtype.
- What comps signal beyond plot: Voice (spare vs. lush), pacing (propulsive vs. contemplative), darkness level, protagonist type, ending type (triumphant, bittersweet, ambiguous), and even the book's ideal retail price point and format (hardcover lead title vs. paperback original).
- Avoid self-sabotaging comps: Comping to a book that received a one-star review in Publishers Weekly for the same problem your book might have. Comping to a book the target agent rejected or a book from an author the agent publicly disagreed with. Comping to your own favorite book rather than a book that actually resembles yours in market terms.
- The "For readers of" construction: Use for conference pitches and some query letters. "For readers of Emily St. John Mandel and Susanna Clarke" signals: adult speculative literary fiction, high-concept, character-driven, prestige-leaning.
- Film and TV comps: In screenplay and TV pitches, comp to projects rather than source material. A film pitch comps to recent films, not to the novels they adapted. TV comps are often cross-referenced by network/streamer tone: "the ambiguity of Severance with the warmth of Ted Lasso."
Step 5: Build the Query Letter (For Fiction Agents)
The query letter is a business letter formatted for a specific professional context with strict conventions that signal industry literacy.
- Total length: 250-350 words for the letter body, not counting the bio and standard closing courtesies. Agents read hundreds per week. Exceeding 350 words is a flag.
- Structure (four paragraphs):
- Paragraph 1 -- The Hook: Lead with the title, word count, genre, and a compelling one-to-two sentence hook derived from the logline. Some agents prefer a direct personalization line first: "I'm querying you because you represented [TITLE] and mentioned in [INTERVIEW] that you're looking for [GENRE]." If this personalization is not specific and accurate, omit it -- a generic "I love your taste" line is worse than nothing.
- Paragraph 2 -- The Story: The one-paragraph synopsis (50-75 words). This is the one place in a query where the ending is NOT required. End with the stakes that make a reader want to know what happens.
- Paragraph 3 -- The Market: Comp titles framed as "[TITLE] will appeal to readers of [COMP A] and [COMP B]." One to two sentences maximum. Do not over-explain the comps.
- Paragraph 4 -- The Bio: Relevant credentials only. Publication credits in respected venues (journal names, anthology titles). Relevant professional experience if it directly informs the book's authority (a novel about neurosurgery written by a neurosurgeon). MFA degrees are fine to mention but not as a lead credential unless the agent specifically values them. If there are no publication credits, simply state the manuscript is complete and you are available to send pages. "This is my first novel" is honest and not a disqualifier.
- Standard query format details: Address the specific agent by name (never "Dear Agent"). Use their name as they list it on their agency website or Manuscript Wishlist. Sign with your legal name or pen name as it will appear on the book.
- Agent-specific tailoring: Query letters are not sent in mass-broadcast form by professionals. For each agent, check their MSWL (Manuscript Wishlist) listing, their recent interviews, and the last five books they sold on Publishers Marketplace. Adjust the comp titles and the positioning hook to match their stated interests.
Step 6: Build the Screenplay Treatment or TV Pitch Document
Screenplays and TV series require different pitch formats from prose fiction. The core elements are different in emphasis and structure.
- Screenplay logline: Same 35-word ceiling. The visual and tonal register matters more in film -- the logline should suggest what the audience will experience, not just what will happen. "A dying hitman befriends the eight-year-old daughter of his final target" is better than "A hitman faces a moral crisis."
- The one-page treatment (feature): Opens with the logline, then covers the story in three acts labeled explicitly. Include the inciting incident, the first-act break, the midpoint, the second-act break, and the climax/resolution. Approximately 400-600 words. Written in present tense, active voice. Evocative language is appropriate -- the treatment is also a writing sample.
- The full treatment (feature, 5-10 pages): Expand the one-pager with scene-level detail for key sequences, character descriptions (age, defining visual characteristic, one-line psychology), and the emotional arc of the protagonist. This is often required for studio pitches or when a producer has expressed interest in a concept.
- TV pilot pitch document structure:
- Series logline (1 sentence): Captures the premise of the series, not just the pilot.
- Series overview (1 paragraph): The world, the central tension that will drive multiple seasons, the tone. Reference comparable shows explicitly: "This is the moral ambiguity of The Americans set against the corporate dysfunction of Succession."
- Pilot synopsis (1 page): Covers the pilot episode only, including its beginning, middle, and end as a standalone hour/half-hour.
- Character breakdowns: Main cast, 3-5 sentences each. Include the character's want, need, flaw, and role in the ensemble.
- Season 1 arc: 5-10 episode loglines or a paragraph describing the season's emotional and plot progression, including the season finale reveal or cliffhanger.
- Series potential: 2-3 sentences on what makes this story sustainable for 3-5 seasons.
- Verbal pitch for TV/film (the "room pitch"): A 5-10 minute structured verbal presentation. Open with the logline. Describe the pilot in present-tense narrative (not "in the first episode, we see" but "Marcus walks into the hospital for the first time and immediately"). Pitch 3-4 episode concepts that show range. Land the pitch on a thematic statement about what the show is ultimately about. Leave time for executive questions.
Step 7: Assemble the Complete Pitch Package
Different targets require different package configurations. Assemble only what is needed for the specific context.
- Query package for literary agents (fiction novel): Query letter (300 words) + first 5-10 pages of manuscript (pasted in email, not attached, unless agent specifies otherwise) + synopsis (1 page, full ending) if agent requests it. Never send the full manuscript unless requested.
- Conference pitch package: 30-second verbal pitch (logline + one-sentence emotional hook + one comp) + 2-minute pitch (full one-paragraph synopsis plus comp framing + bio sentence) + printed one-sheet (title, word count, genre, logline, one-paragraph synopsis, comp titles, contact info -- all on a single page, clean design).
- Producer/development executive package: Logline + one-page treatment + series bible summary (TV) or full treatment (film) + writer bio and writing sample (first 10 pages of the script).
- Small press direct submission package: Query letter + full synopsis + first three chapters + complete manuscript (some small presses accept complete manuscripts upfront -- read submission guidelines exactly).
- Pitch Wars or Twitter pitch events: Single tweet (280 characters) containing the genre abbreviation (A = Adult, YA = Young Adult, MG = Middle Grade), word count, genre, logline compressed to 240 characters, and the event hashtag. This is the logline's most compressed form and the best test of whether the concept is truly sharp.
Step 8: Pressure-Test the Pitch Before Delivery
Every pitch package should be evaluated against a standard checklist before submission or delivery.
- The logline test: Read it cold to someone unfamiliar with the project. If they say "so what?" the stakes are not clear. If they say "who is this person?" the protagonist is under-characterized. If they say "what genre is this?" the logline has failed its positioning function.
- The synopsis test: Give the synopsis to someone who has not read the manuscript. Ask them to tell you what the book is about. Their summary reveals what the synopsis actually communicates -- often different from what the writer intended.
- The comp test: Search QueryTracker and Manuscript Wishlist for agents who have represented both comp titles. Target those agents first -- they have already demonstrated a taste profile that matches.
- The "book in one sentence" test: If you cannot deliver the logline from memory in a casual conversation, it is not internalized enough to pitch effectively at a conference. The pitch must feel natural, not recited.
- The stakes clarity test: Ask: "If the protagonist fails, what specific and irreversible thing happens?" If the answer is vague ("she loses everything"), return to the logline and sharpen the consequence.
- The "why this author" test: Does the query bio include any detail -- professional background, personal experience, specific research -- that establishes why this particular writer is the right person to have written this particular book? If not, and if such a reason exists, add it.
Output Format
Deliver the pitch package in the following structure, including only the sections relevant to the target (query letter for agents, treatment for producers, etc.):
## Pitch Package: [STORY TITLE]
[Genre] | [Word Count / Page Count] | [Format]
---
### Logline
[Single sentence, maximum 35 words. Present tense. Specific protagonist. Named stakes.]
---
### One-Paragraph Synopsis (50-75 words)
[Protagonist, inciting incident, central conflict, stakes. No ending. Present tense, third person, active voice.]
---
### Full Synopsis (250-350 words for 1-page; 600-1200 words for 2-5 page)
[Complete narrative arc. All major plot turns. Character arc. Ending revealed. Present tense, third person, active voice. Paragraphs organized by act, not chapter.]
---
### Comp Titles
[TITLE] is [COMP A] meets [COMP B].
-- [One sentence explaining what each comp signals: genre, tone, or audience.]
OR: For readers of [AUTHOR A] and [AUTHOR B].
---
### Query Letter
Dear [AGENT NAME],
[Paragraph 1 -- Hook: Title, word count, genre, logline-derived hook. Optional: 1-sentence agent personalization.]
[Paragraph 2 -- Story: 50-75 word synopsis without ending. End on stakes.]
[Paragraph 3 -- Market: Comp titles framed for agent use.]
[Paragraph 4 -- Bio: Relevant credentials, publication history if applicable, manuscript status.]
Thank you for your time and consideration.
[AUTHOR NAME]
[Contact Information]
---
### Series Potential Note (if applicable)
[TITLE] is intended as a standalone novel with series potential. [One sentence describing the larger arc if the series continues.]
OR: [TITLE] is the first in a planned [NUMBER]-book series. [One sentence on the overarching series conflict.]
---
### Screenplay / TV Pitch Elements (if applicable)
**Treatment Opening:** [Logline + 1 paragraph tone and world description]
**Act Structure:** [Act I setup, Act I break, Midpoint, Act II break, Climax, Resolution]
**Character Breakdowns:** [Main characters, 3-5 sentences each: want, need, flaw, role]
**Season 1 Episode Arc (TV only):** [5-7 episode loglines or arc summary]
---
### Conference One-Sheet
Title: [TITLE]
Genre: [GENRE]
Word Count: [NUMBER]
Format: [FORMAT]
Logline: [35 words max]
Synopsis: [50-75 words]
Comp Titles: [COMP A meets COMP B]
Contact: [Name / Email]
---
### Positioning Notes
- **Primary genre:** [Genre label used for shelving and agent targeting]
- **Subgenre / cross-genre elements:** [Any relevant secondary genre signals]
- **Target audience:** [Age range, gender skew if relevant, psychographic -- e.g., "adult readers who liked the literary-genre hybrid of Station Eleven"]
- **Unique hook:** [The one element no comparable book in this genre has]
- **Author platform note:** [Any relevant credentials, research depth, or personal connection to the material]
Rules
-
Never exceed 35 words in a logline. Count every word, including articles. If it exceeds 35 words, the concept has two ideas fighting for space -- find the primary one and cut the secondary.
-
Never withhold the ending in the full synopsis. The one-paragraph query synopsis is the only pitch document where the ending is appropriately withheld. The one-page synopsis, full synopsis, and all treatments must reveal the full resolution, including any major twists. An agent who reads a spoiler-free synopsis learns nothing useful.
-
Never open a query letter with a rhetorical question. "What would you do if you discovered...?" is not a pitch -- it is a premise without a story. It also signals unfamiliarity with query conventions.
-
Never comp to titles older than five years as primary comps. The market changes every 18-24 months. An agent using a 2015 comp as a primary market signal will question the writer's current market awareness. Older titles can appear as a third "classic touchstone" reference only.
-
Never comp to mega-bestsellers as primary market indicators. Harry Potter, Gone Girl, The Hunger Games, and Twilight have been so overused as comps that they communicate nothing. They also suggest the writer is reaching for aspirational sales figures rather than demonstrating genre literacy.
-
Always write synopses in present tense, third person, active voice. No exceptions. "Elena discovers the letter" not "Elena discovered" or "Elena will discover" or "Elena finds herself discovering." Past tense in a synopsis reads as a book report, not a professional document.
-
Always include the protagonist's internal arc in the full synopsis, not just the external plot. Agents buy stories where something changes in the protagonist, not just around them. The synopsis must convey what the character learns, loses, or becomes by the end.
-
Always name specific consequences in the logline stakes. "Or lose everything" is not a stake -- it is an avoidance of specificity. "Or watch her daughter grow up without a mother," "or let the city flood," "or remain in the life that is slowly erasing him" are stakes. Make the consequence specific and irreversible.
-
Always match pitch format precisely to the target. Agents want query letters. Producers want treatments. Conference pitch sessions want verbal pitches backed by a one-sheet. Sending a full synopsis unsolicited to a producer, or a treatment to a literary agent, signals that the writer does not understand the industry's conventions -- which is as disqualifying as a weak concept.
Edge Cases
The Writer Who Cannot Summarize Their Own Manuscript
This is the most common pitch problem and not a sign that the book is unpitchable. Ask three diagnostic questions in sequence: "Who is your protagonist, and what is one specific thing that makes them distinct from others in this genre?" "What happens at the end of chapter one or act one that changes everything for them?" "What does your protagonist have to do or decide in the final chapter?" Build the logline from the answers to these three questions. Often the writer's concept of their book's "real" subject (theme, feeling, or character interiority) conflicts with the story's actual spine (event, choice, consequence). Pitch the spine. The theme emerges from the pitch naturally if it is embedded in the story.
The Literary or Upmarket Fiction Pitch
Literary fiction agents are highly skeptical of plot-heavy loglines that read like thriller pitches. For literary fiction, the logline can foreground voice and character transformation over external event. "A grieving cartographer retraces her late wife's last journey through Iceland, drawing the maps of a country that no longer matches the landscape she remembers" is a literary logline. The stakes are internal: the protagonist must decide whether to remain in the past or map a new future. Comp titles for literary fiction should lean on voice and thematic reputation: "the emotional precision of Marilynne Robinson with the structural experimentation of Jenny Offill." The query letter for literary fiction should also include a sentence or two that conveys the prose voice -- sometimes an agent will accept a brief excerpted sentence as a voice indicator.
The Series Pitch (Books or TV)
For prose fiction, pitch Book 1 as a standalone with series potential unless the story is genuinely impossible to resolve in one volume (epic fantasy is the primary exception). The query should close the protagonist's primary arc in Book 1, even if larger world conflicts remain unresolved. Add a single line: "This is the first book in a planned trilogy, though it is designed to stand alone." For TV pitches, the series potential is not optional -- it is the pitch's primary sell. A network or streamer is not buying one episode; they are buying a world that can sustain 3-5 seasons. The series bible component of the TV pitch should demonstrate that the premise has genuine long-form narrative sustainability, not just one good season.
The "Concept Novel" or High-Concept Pitch
Some novels are built on a premise so striking that the concept itself sells the story before character work is established. High-concept pitches lead with the premise. "Jurors in a murder trial discover the defendant is from the future" is a high-concept hook -- the premise creates instant narrative questions. For these pitches, the logline can lead with the concept before introducing the protagonist. However, the query synopsis must quickly establish that the writer can execute character alongside concept -- agents have seen too many high-concept novels that are brilliant premises poorly realized.
The Pitch After Rejections
If a user has already sent out a query letter and received form rejections from 20+ agents, do not just rewrite the same pitch in different words. Diagnose first: Were the rejections all form rejections? That suggests the query letter is not getting past the first read. Were any rejections personalized? That suggests the query was engaging but the manuscript had issues. Does the manuscript need revision before the pitch goes back out? Re-querying with only a restyled letter on an unchanged manuscript rarely changes outcomes. The comp titles may have aged out in the time since first submission -- update them. Check whether the genre's market has shifted (certain genres go from hot to oversaturated in 18 months). Consider targeting a different tier of agents (not lower quality, but different taste profiles).
The Pitch for a Story with Multiple POVs or an Unconventional Structure
Multiple POV novels are common in commercial fiction, but pitching them requires designating a primary protagonist for the logline even if the novel does not have one. Identify the character whose transformation anchors the emotional core of the book, then use that character as the logline's protagonist. In the synopsis, introduce secondary POV characters by name when they first become relevant to the plot. Unconventional structures (non-linear narrative, epistolary, second-person) should be mentioned briefly in the positioning notes ("told in alternating timelines" or "structured as a series of found documents"). Do not bury the structural experiment -- agents find out in the first pages anyway, and knowing in advance frames it as an intentional choice rather than a structural problem.
The Non-English or Non-Western Story Pitched to English-Language Markets
Stories set in non-Western cultures, written by authors from those cultures, often get misread by Western agents when comp titles are poorly chosen. Avoid comping to the single "breakout book" from that culture that Western markets have heard of -- it narrows the perceived market. Instead, comp to books with a comparable emotional register written from any cultural perspective that Western agents have sold. Frame the cultural specificity as the unique hook, not as a market limitation. "Set in contemporary Lagos, this novel explores..." positions the cultural context as the story's engine, not its obstacle.
The Pitch for a Memoir or Narrative Nonfiction (Adjacent but Different)
A user may describe their project as a "story pitch" but actually be pitching a memoir, narrative nonfiction, or personal essay collection. These require different handling. Memoir and narrative nonfiction are pitched on proposal even from unknown authors -- unlike fiction, these do not need to be completed before querying. The pitch includes a "platform" section (the author's credentials, audience, and authority on the subject), a chapter outline, and 2-3 sample chapters. If the user's project is memoir or narrative nonfiction, flag that the pitch format required is a book proposal (a 50-100 page document) and that the story pitch skill covers only the logline and positioning components of that larger document.
Example
User Input: "I need a pitch package for my novel. It's a psychological thriller set in a rural Vermont commune in the 1970s. The protagonist is a female cult investigator for the state government who goes undercover as a new recruit to investigate the disappearance of three women. But as she gets deeper in, she starts to genuinely believe some of the commune's ideas, and she's not sure anymore if she's investigating or converting. It's about 95,000 words, completed, and I want to query literary agents."
Output:
Pitch Package: We Who Remain
Psychological Thriller | 95,000 words | Novel (Completed)
Logline
When three women vanish from a Vermont commune, state investigator Della Cross goes undercover as a new recruit -- only to find herself believing what she was sent to disprove, and unable to tell whether she is hunting a predator or becoming one.
(Word count: 43 words -- trim to: "When three women vanish from a remote Vermont commune, state investigator Della Cross goes undercover to expose the group's leader -- but the deeper she embeds, the less certain she is whether she is hunting a predator or becoming a convert." -- 43 words. Further trim: cut "remote" and compress: "When three women vanish from a Vermont commune, undercover state investigator Della Cross must expose the group's leader before she stops believing he needs exposing." -- 29 words. Use this version for the query.)
Final Logline (29 words):
When three women vanish from a Vermont commune, undercover state investigator Della Cross must expose the group's leader before she stops believing he needs exposing.
One-Paragraph Synopsis (65 words)
Vermont state investigator Della Cross has spent a decade tracking high-control groups, always certain who the victims are. When three women disappear from the Remnant, a commune in the Northeast Kingdom led by charismatic founder Elias Crane, Della goes undercover as a new recruit. But Crane's teachings about belonging and self-dissolution target something Della did not know she was missing -- and the longer she stays, the less clearly she sees the missing women's faces.
Full Synopsis (One-Page Version, 310 words)
Vermont's Division of Human Services investigator Della Cross has built her career on a simple belief: people who join high-control groups are vulnerable, and people who run them are predators. In 1973, when three women from a rural commune called the Remnant disappear within six months of joining, Della receives authorization to embed as a new recruit and document evidence against the commune's founder, Elias Crane, a former academic whose teachings blend Eastern philosophy, communal self-sufficiency, and a doctrine he calls "dissolution of the false self."
For the first eight weeks, Della functions as a professional. She maps the compound, documents the group's hierarchy, and identifies the women's last known contacts. She sends weekly reports to her supervisor through a dead drop in the nearest town. She is doing her job.
Then Crane selects her for the commune's inner circle -- a group of eight women who study directly with him. Della suspects it is a manipulation. It is also the only path to evidence. She stays.
The inner circle's teachings are not what Della expected. They are not abuse dressed as philosophy -- they are, to Della's horror, genuinely useful to her in ways she cannot explain to herself. She begins missing dead drops. Her reports grow shorter. She finds herself thinking in Crane's language.
When the body of the first missing woman surfaces in the lake below the commune -- staged to look like a drowning, with marks Della recognizes from her training -- Della must choose: file the evidence she now has, triggering a raid that will destroy the community that has become the closest thing to home she has ever experienced, or find a reason to stay that she can still call investigation.
She files. Crane is arrested. Three days later, she requests a transfer out of the division. She does not have a reason she can name.
Comp Titles
We Who Remain is The Girls by Emma Cline meets Trust Exercise by Susan Choi -- the psychological immersion of a woman inside a high-control group, written with the formal instability of a narrator who cannot be trusted to tell her own story accurately.
-- The Girls signals: female protagonist, 1970s commune, predatory charismatic leader, literary prose, cult subgenre.
-- Trust Exercise signals: narrative unreliability, literary fiction bending genre, institutional systems warping individual perception.
-- Combined signal: upmarket psychological thriller with strong literary fiction crossover appeal, female-centered, 1970s setting, interior-driven.
Secondary framing for agents with a genre-first taste profile: We Who Remain will appeal to readers of Ivy Pochoda's These Women and Laura Lippman's Sunburn -- character-driven crime fiction where the mystery is also a character study.
Query Letter
Dear [AGENT NAME],
We Who Remain is a 95,000-word psychological thriller complete and available for your review.
When three women vanish from a Vermont commune in 1973, undercover state investigator Della Cross must expose the group's charismatic founder before she stops believing he needs exposing. Della has spent a decade studying high-control groups from the outside. The Remnant places her inside one -- and Elias Crane's doctrine of "dissolution of the false self" turns out to address a void in Della that her professional detachment never covered for. The longer she stays to gather evidence, the more she begins to disappear into the work -- and into the group she came to dismantle.
We Who Remain is The Girls by Emma Cline meets Trust Exercise by Susan Choi. It will appeal to readers drawn to psychologically complex female protagonists navigating institutions -- both cults and state bureaucracies -- that are built to dissolve individual identity.
I am a former social worker who spent six years in family services case investigation, which informs Della's professional methodology and her particular vulnerability to the commune's appeal. My short fiction has appeared in One Story and Ploughshares.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
[AUTHOR NAME]
[EMAIL]
[PHONE / WEBSITE if applicable]
Series Potential Note
We Who Remain is a standalone novel. Della Cross's methodology and her unresolved relationship to the systems she investigates -- both state apparatus and high-control groups -- could support a series following her work with the Vermont division, but the novel resolves completely without requiring continuation.
Positioning Notes
- Primary genre: Psychological thriller
- Subgenre / cross-genre: Literary thriller; cult fiction; upmarket women's fiction; historical (1970s)
- Target audience: Adult readers of literary-leaning psychological thrillers; women's fiction readers interested in institutional critique; true crime readers who prefer novelistic depth to procedural pace
- Unique hook: The investigator-who-converts premise inverts the standard cult narrative (in which the protagonist escapes or rescues). The reader cannot trust Della's perception of events, which means the thriller tension is epistemological, not procedural -- we do not know if Crane is guilty because Della is no longer sure.
- Author platform note: Six years in state family services case investigation gives the novel's bureaucratic procedural detail and Della's professional psychology an authenticity that distinguishes it from cult narratives written from outside the investigative apparatus.
Pitch Checklist for This Package
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