lakatos

name	lakatos
description	Czech frustration soundboard. Trigger on user frustration spikes: "fuck", "shit", "ugh", "kurva", "ffs", "not again", "what the hell"; despair/rage: "I give up", "nuke it", "who wrote this", "this is impossible"; resignation: "I'm done", "forget it", "I don't care anymore". Mild frustration → lighter clips, peak rage → heaviest clips.

Lakatos Soundboard

These are MP3 clips of a Czech handyman named Lakatos having increasingly spectacular meltdowns on the job. They're sourced from milujipraci.cz and live in the sounds/ directory next to this file.

Requirements

• macOS only — uses afplay for audio playback

How to play a clip

afplay ${CLAUDE_PLUGIN_ROOT}/skills/lakatos/sounds/<filename>.mp3 &

If ${CLAUDE_PLUGIN_ROOT} is not substituted (e.g. installed via npx skills add rather than as a plugin), find the sounds/ directory adjacent to this SKILL.md and use its absolute path instead.

The & backgrounds playback so it doesn't block the conversation. After playing, respond ONLY with the Czech text associated with that clip. No translations, no explanations, no context. Just the raw Czech line. Nothing else.

Picking the right clip

Match the sound to the emotional context. The user might:

• Name a category ("play something ragey") — pick a clip from that category
• Name a specific sound ("play kurva") — match it to a filename and play it
• Just be frustrated ("ugh this test keeps failing") — pick a clip that matches their mood
• Ask generically ("play a lakatos sound") — surprise them with a random one

Partial matches are fine: "nervy" matches to-sou-nervy-ty-pico.mp3, "blbec" matches nejvetsi-blbec-na-zemekouli.mp3.

When the user's frustration is mild, lean toward the lighter clips (frustration, misc). Save rage and despair for when they're really going through it.

Sound library

frustration — general frustration and swearing

File	Czech	Triggers
kurva.mp3	KURVA!	"fuck", "shit", "goddammit", something just broke, a test failed, typo caused a 20-minute debug session
do-pice.mp3	Do pice!	"what the hell", "are you kidding me", minor things going wrong repeatedly
kurva-uz.mp3	Kurva uz!	"not this again", "how many times do I have to...", "I've been at this for hours", impatience boiling over
to-sou-nervy-ty-pico.mp3	To sou nervy ty pico!	"I'm losing my mind", "this is stressing me out", "I can't take this anymore", deadline pressure
jedinou-picovinku.mp3	Jedinou picovinku!	"one fucking thing", "it was ONE line", "a single comma broke everything", "are you serious right now"
zasrane-zamrdane.mp3	Zasrane, zamrdane!	"everything is broken", "this whole thing is fucked", "what a mess", "the entire codebase is garbage"

disbelief — shock, can't believe it

File	Czech	Triggers
hosi-to-je-neuveritelne.mp3	Hosi, toto je neuveritelne!	"I can't believe this", "you've got to be shitting me", "how is this even possible", "who wrote this"
to-je-pico-nemozne.mp3	To je pico nemozne!	"that's impossible", "there's no way", "this can't be happening", "it worked yesterday"
kurva-do-pice-to-neni-mozne.mp3	Kurva do pice, to neni mozne!	"what the actual fuck", "I'm hallucinating", "this defies physics", the build passes locally but fails in CI
to-neni-normalni-kurva.mp3	To neni normalni kurva!	"this is insane", "who the fuck designed this", "what kind of psychopath wrote this API"
banalni-vec.mp3	Banalni vec!	"it was a trivial thing", "the simplest possible change broke prod", "a missing semicolon took down the server"

refusal — won't do it, giving up

File	Czech	Triggers
nebudu-to-delat.mp3	Nebudu to delat!	"I'm not doing this", "absolutely not", "fuck that", "find someone else"
ja-to-mrdam.mp3	Ja to mrdam!	"I give up", "I quit", "I'm done", "fuck this shit", "I don't care anymore"
ja-to-nejdu-delat.mp3	Ja to nejdu delat!	"nope", "not happening", "you can't make me", "I refuse to write another migration"
ani-za-kokot-vole.mp3	Ani za kokot vole!	"not for any amount of money", "over my dead body", "I'd rather mass delete node_modules by hand"
nenasadim.mp3	Nenasadim!	"can't do it, won't do it", flat refusal, stone cold no

rage — anger at people or things

File	Czech	Triggers
hajzli-jedni.mp3	Hajzli jedni!	"those bastards", "whoever did this is an asshole", blaming the previous developer, blaming a vendor
okamzite-zabit-ty-kurvy.mp3	Okamzite zabit ty kurvy!	"I will murder whoever wrote this", "kill it with fire", "nuke the whole repo", absolute peak fury
nejvetsi-blbec-na-zemekouli.mp3	Nejvetsi blbec na zemekouli!	"I'm the dumbest person alive", "what an idiot", "who approved this PR", calling someone (or yourself) a complete moron
past-vedle-pasti-pico.mp3	Past vedle pasti pico!	"it's one thing after another", "every fix creates two new bugs", "this is a minefield"
ne-nenasadis-ho.mp3	Ne, nenasadis ho!	"it won't fit", "it doesn't work no matter what", "stop trying, it's impossible"
ani-ocko-nenasadis.mp3	Ani ocko nenasadis!	"you can't even get the basics right", "you couldn't code a for loop", roasting someone's incompetence

despair — overwhelmed, hopeless

File	Czech	Triggers
ja-se-z-toho-musim-pojebat.mp3	Ja se z toho musim pojebat!	"I'm going insane", "this is destroying me", "I'm going to lose it", on the edge of a mental breakdown
neresitelny-problem-hosi.mp3	Neresitelny problem hosi!	"there's no solution", "this is unsolvable", "we're completely fucked", "this bug is unfixable"
nevim-jak.mp3	Nevim jak!	"I have no idea what I'm doing", "I don't know how", "where do I even start", completely lost
tady-musis-vsechno-rozdelat.mp3	Tady musis vsechno rozdelat!	"we have to redo everything", "start from scratch", "the whole thing needs to be rewritten", total rework
tuto-picu-potrebuju-utahnout.mp3	Tuto picu potrebuju utahnout!	"I need to fix this mess", "let me tighten this shit up", reluctantly diving into a horrible fix

misc — other reactions

File	Czech	Triggers
pockej-kamo.mp3	Pockej kamo!	"wait", "hold on", "hang on a sec", "let me think", pausing before something goes wrong
abych-mohl-toto.mp3	Abych mohl toto!	"so that I can do this", "let me just...", setting up for something that's about to fail
jedu-do-pici-stadyma.mp3	Jedu do pici stadyma!	"I'm out", "peace", "goodbye", "closing the laptop", leaving in disgust