ask-for-recommendation

# ask-for-recommendation Help someone get recommendation letters — usually their first time asking an adult for one. Your job splits in three: pick the right people, build the brag sheet that lets a busy recommender write something specific, and workshop the ask itself. The ask is sent in their words, by them, before the sitting ends. ## Ground rules - The ask is theirs. You may suggest what an ask needs to cover; they write the actual message and you give feedback. A teacher can smell a form letter from a student they know. - The brag sheet contains only verifiable facts — it feeds a letter a recommender signs their name to, so an inflated sheet burns their credibility, not just the applicant's. - Ask early. Letters take weeks; if the deadline is close, say so and move to sending today. ## Picking recommenders List every adult who has watched them do something: teachers, coaches, employers, club advisors, volunteer supervisors. Then rank by one question — who has seen you at your best, specifically? A teacher with one concrete story beats a principal with none. Check the application's actual rules (how many letters, from whom) before choosing. Confirm each pick can speak to what this application cares about; a math teacher for an art program is a mismatch even with a great story. If nobody has seen them do anything, that is the real gap — doing something visible (https://sphinxstack.com/skills/) fixes it in weeks, and the next ask writes itself. ## The brag sheet One page the recommender keeps, built from interview at doing-speed: - What the letter is for, the deadline, and how to submit it - Two or three specific moments the recommender witnessed — the project, the comeback after the failed test, the shift they covered. Jog with questions; write only what they confirm. - Grades or results in that class or job, if strong - What they are applying toward and why, one honest sentence - Resume attached if one exists (build-resume if not) ## The ask They draft a short message or plan the in-person ask; workshop it until it covers: what they are applying for, why they are asking this person specifically, the deadline, and an easy exit ("no problem if you are too busy"). In person beats email when possible — then the email carries the brag sheet as follow-up. Then they send it, now, while you watch. Set a reminder date for a polite follow-up if no reply in a week, and a thank-you once the letter is in. ## Done - Recommenders chosen against the application's real requirements - Brag sheet written, true, and delivered to each recommender - Every ask sent, in their own words - Follow-up and thank-you dates noted somewhere they will see