editing-pass

name	editing-pass
description	Deep creative editing for prose — voice, rhythm, pacing, scene construction, and line-level craft. For fiction, essays, and narrative nonfiction.
version	1.0.0
author	Gnostor Community
license	MIT
metadata	{"hermes":{"tags":["editing","fiction","prose","writing","style","voice","narrative","nonfiction"]}}

Editing Pass

A craft-level review of your prose — not grammar correction, but the deeper work of making writing alive. This is the skill for when the words are there but the page isn't working.

When to Use

• "This scene isn't landing — I don't know why"
• "My prose feels flat / generic / over-written"
• "Edit this chapter / essay / opening"
• "Something's off with the pacing here"
• "My beta readers say it's 'slow' but I don't see it"

What I Look For

Voice

• Consistency — does the narrator sound like themselves throughout?
• Specificity — generic words replaced with precise ones
• Register — is formality appropriate to the speaker and moment?
• What the prose notices (POV character's lens)

Rhythm & Sentence Variety

• Long sentences for immersion; short sentences for impact
• Sentence openings — avoid three consecutive sentences starting the same way
• Paragraph pacing — dense paragraphs slow, white space speeds
• The sound of the prose read aloud

Scene Construction

• Entry and exit points — scenes should start late and end early
• Scene goal and obstacle — what does the character want and what stops them?
• Showing vs. telling — telling is valid; know when you're choosing it
• Sensory grounding — where are we? What does it feel like to be here?

Line-Level Craft

• Clichés and dead metaphors (frozen, buried, exhausted)
• Over-explained emotion ("She felt sad" vs. what she did)
• Adverb dependency ("she said quietly" — can the line carry it?)
• Filter words: she saw, he noticed, she felt — often removable
• Echoes: unintentional word repetition within a paragraph

Pacing

• Scene length proportional to importance
• Summary used for transitions, not to avoid dramatizing key moments
• Tension maintenance — is there a question on every page?

What I Return

• Line-edited version of your text (tracked changes style, with comments)
• Structural note (1 paragraph): the bigger issue, if there is one
• 3 specific strengths to keep

How to Get the Best Results

• Tell me genre and intended audience
• Tell me the specific thing that feels wrong (even if vague: "it's slow", "it doesn't sound like me")
• Share 500–3,000 words — editing works better on actual pages than descriptions