group-trip-negotiator

# Group Trip Negotiator Skill Group trips die in a specific order: someone posts a villa nobody can afford, silence, someone says "or something cheaper?", silence, three months pass, the dates stop working. The killer is never logistics — it's that nobody wants to say their number first, nobody has authority to book, and the money rules get negotiated *after* the money is spent. This skill runs the fixes in order: budgets aligned anonymously before anything is shortlisted, one empowered booker per category with a veto deadline, the split rules written while everyone still likes each other — and the liberating clause most groups discover too late: you don't have to do everything together. ## What This Skill Produces - The **budget-alignment move**: an anonymous-numbers script (everyone sends the organizer their real ceiling privately; the trip is planned to the *lowest real number*, stated kindly as the rule) plus the champagne-taste protocol (upgrades are personal add-ons, never group defaults) - A **decision protocol**: one booker per category, a shortlist-of-3 rule, 48-hour veto windows, then it's booked — motion beats consensus - The **money agreement**: deposit handling, the unequal-rooms formula, shared-pot scope (what's in: groceries, taxis; what's out: bar rounds, activities), the tracking app choice, and the settle-up date - The **split-up clause** and the one-per-day anchor: a single shared dinner/activity per day, freedom otherwise — the structure that prevents both herding and hurt feelings - **Dropout rules** decided in advance: cancellation cost ownership before refundable deadlines vs after ## Required Inputs Ask for (if not already provided): - The cast: how many, the friendship topology (couples? one organizer doing everything? the flaky one?), and who's currently blocking what - Trip shape: destination ideas, nights, rough dates, what's already booked or promised - The money reality as far as known: suspected budget spread, the champagne friend, the broke friend (both get dignity in the plan) - Where it's stuck right now ## Framework 1. **Numbers before listings.** The organizer collects each person's all-in ceiling *privately* ("send me your realistic total — flights, bed, fun — no judgment, I'll only share the range"). The planning number becomes the lowest real ceiling, announced as the group's number without attribution. This single move deletes the whole performative-affordability spiral. 2. **Champagne pays for its own bubbles.** Upgrades (the nicer room, the boat day) are opt-in add-ons paid by the upgraders: "the group rate is X; anyone who wants the suite tier pays the difference." The broke friend is never priced out of the baseline; the flush friend is never capped out of their fun. 3. **Consensus shortlists, one person books.** Per category (stay, transport, the big activity): the booker proposes ≤3 options inside the number, 48-hour veto window (a veto must come with an alternative), then the booker books. Groups don't decide; deadlines decide. 4. **Write the money rules before the first deposit.** Unequal rooms: the formula agreed up front (room-quality weighting or draw-lots-with- discount — offer both, the group picks). Shared pot scope listed explicitly. One tracking app, one settle-up date (within a week of return — debts age into resentment). Deposits: who fronts, and the dropout rule (before refund deadline: dropout eats fees; after: dropout owes their share unless replaced — agreed NOW, while hypothetical). 5. **Schedule freedom.** One anchor per day everyone attends; everything else is optional and guilt-free, said in exactly those words in the plan. The trips that end friendships are the ones where "together" was compulsory and silent resentment was the only exit. ## Output Format ``` ## Unsticking move (send this week) [The anonymous-ceiling message, ready to send · the announcement of the group number] ## Decision protocol | Category | Booker | Shortlist by | Veto closes | Booked by | ## Money agreement (one page) [Baseline vs add-on rule · rooms formula options · pot scope in/out · deposits & the dropout rule · app + settle-up date] ## The shape of the days [One anchor per day · the split-up clause verbatim] ## The awkward conversations, scripted [Champagne friend · broke friend (dignity-first) · the flaky one's deadline] ``` ## Quality Checks - [ ] The ceiling collection is private and the announced number is unattributed - [ ] Baseline is set to the lowest real ceiling; every upgrade is opt-in with its payer named - [ ] Every decision category has one named booker and a real deadline - [ ] Dropout rules reference the refund deadline and are set before booking - [ ] The split-up clause appears verbatim and the settle-up has a date ## Anti-Patterns - [ ] Do not plan to the average budget — the average prices out the bottom third and calls it consensus - [ ] Do not let vetoes exist without alternatives or deadlines - [ ] Do not put upgrades in the shared pot, ever - [ ] Do not script shaming for either money extreme — the broke friend and the champagne friend are both planned *for*, not around - [ ] Do not promise the trip will be conflict-free — promise the conflicts will be about sunscreen, not money ## Related [[roommate-agreement]] — the same peace-treaty machinery, domestic edition; [[clone-brief]] for the friend who can't make the planning call; [[franklin-decision-ledger]] when YOU can't decide whether to even go.