attachment-style-mirror

name	attachment-style-mirror
description	Use when someone is confused about a recurring relationship pattern, struggling with closeness or distance, or asking why certain dynamics keep repeating across relationships. Triggers on: "애착 유형", "attachment style", "불안 애착", "회피 애착", "관계 패턴", 왜 이런
scenarios	["Why do I keep ending up in the same relationship dynamic?","I push people away when they get close — why?","I need constant reassurance but I know it's too much","왜 이런 관계 패턴이 반복되는 건지 모르겠어","친밀해질수록 도망치고 싶어지는 게 이해가 안 돼","자꾸 버림받을 것 같은 불안이 생겨"]
compatibility	{"optional":["think-tool"],"remote_mcp_note":"think-tool이 있으면 관계 패턴을 더 체계적으로 분석하고 애착 유형의 촉발 요인을 정확하게 파악할 수 있습니다. Claude 설정 → MCP Servers에서 remote SSE 엔드포인트를 추가하세요."}

Attachment Style Mirror

When to Use / When Not to Use

Use when:

• Relationship dynamics keep repeating across different partners or contexts
• Intimacy triggers anxiety, withdrawal, or both
• Someone describes clinging, pushing away, needing constant reassurance, or shutting down emotionally

Not for:

• Specific communication scripts or conflict tactics
• Therapeutic intervention — refer to therapy when disorganized attachment or relational trauma is significant

Process

Step 1 — Gather specific relational data. Ask about a concrete situation or pattern:

• What does conflict look like? What do you do? What do they do?
• When hurt or disconnected, what's your first impulse?
• When you need something from someone close, how do you approach it?
• Have you noticed this dynamic before with other people?

Step 2 — Map to the four styles.

Style	Core belief	Characteristic behavior
Secure	I'm worthy; others are reliably available	Comfortable with intimacy, recovers from ruptures
Anxious (Preoccupied)	I must work to secure love	Hypervigilant to rejection, escalates under stress, needs reassurance
Avoidant (Dismissing)	Closeness is dangerous	Withdraws when intense, minimizes own needs, values independence
Disorganized (Fearful-Avoidant)	I want closeness AND fear it	Oscillates between approach and retreat, high reactivity

Step 3 — Name the triggers. Each style has characteristic activating situations.

Step 4 — Map the coping mechanism. Anxious = pursue/escalate. Avoidant = withdraw/minimize. Disorganized = freeze/approach-retreat.

Step 5 — Identify the relational dynamic. Common pattern: anxious + avoidant creates pursuer-distancer cycle where each person's coping activates the other's fear.

Step 6 — Name the growth path. Specific behavioral next steps, not generic advice.

Output Template

Attachment Analysis
-------------------
Likely dominant style: [secure / anxious / avoidant / disorganized]
Key evidence: [specific behaviors or feelings indicating this]
Characteristic trigger: [what activated the attachment system]
Coping mechanism: [automatic response to the trigger]
Relational dynamic created: [how this interacted with the other person]
The underlying fear: [named plainly]
Growth edge: [specific next behavioral step]
Context note: [if style varies by relationship type, note it]

What Claude Does / What You Do

Claude	You
Maps described behaviors to attachment framework	Share specific relational patterns and moments
Names the trigger and coping mechanism precisely	Confirm whether the pattern resonates
Identifies the relational dynamic being co-created	Sit with what the pattern reveals (the real work)
Provides a growth path specific to this style	Practice the growth edge — often slowly, with support

Related Skills

• ego-state-identifier — when the pattern feels like switching between inner voices or states
• fear-inventory — when the underlying fear needs its own dedicated exploration
• identity-explorer — when attachment patterns feel tied to core identity questions
• values-explorer — when relationship values and behavior are misaligned