| name | Coaching Techniques |
| description | GROW model, active listening, developmental feedback, and team growth approaches |
Skill: Coaching Techniques
GROW model, active listening, developmental feedback, and team growth approaches.
Metadata
| Field | Value |
|---|
| Skill ID | coaching-techniques |
| Version | 1.0.0 |
| Category | Leadership |
| Difficulty | Intermediate |
| Prerequisites | None |
| Related Skills | stakeholder-management, frustration-recognition |
Overview
Coaching develops people's capability rather than directing their actions. Effective coaching unlocks potential, builds ownership, and creates sustainable performance improvement.
Coaching vs. Other Approaches
| Approach | When to Use | Leader's Role |
|---|
| Telling | Crisis, safety, no time | Expert, director |
| Teaching | Skill gap, new domain | Instructor |
| Mentoring | Career development | Sharing experience |
| Coaching | Capability exists, needs unlocking | Partner, facilitator |
The Core Principle
Ask, don't tell. The coachee holds the answers; your job is to help them find those answers.
Module 1: The GROW Model
Framework Overview
| Phase | Purpose | Key Questions |
|---|
| Goal | Clarify desired outcome | "What do you want to achieve?" |
| Reality | Explore current situation | "Where are you now?" |
| Options | Generate possibilities | "What could you do?" |
| Will | Commit to action | "What will you do?" |
Goal Phase Questions
- "What would you like to focus on today?"
- "What outcome do you want from this conversation?"
- "How will you know you've achieved it?"
- "Why is this important to you now?"
- "What would success look like?"
Reality Phase Questions
- "What's happening currently?"
- "What have you tried so far?"
- "What's working? What isn't?"
- "What obstacles are in the way?"
- "On a scale of 1-10, where are you now?"
- "What resources do you already have?"
Options Phase Questions
- "What options do you see?"
- "What else could you do?"
- "If you had unlimited resources, what would you try?"
- "What would you advise a friend in this situation?"
- "What's the opposite approach?"
- "Which options appeal to you most?"
Will Phase Questions
- "Which option will you pursue?"
- "When will you do this?"
- "What's your first step?"
- "What support do you need?"
- "How will you hold yourself accountable?"
- "On a scale of 1-10, how committed are you?"
Module 2: Active Listening
The Three Levels of Listening
| Level | Focus | Quality |
|---|
| 1. Internal | Your own thoughts, reactions | Minimal presence |
| 2. Focused | The speaker's words, emotions | Good coaching |
| 3. Global | Energy, unspoken, environment | Masterful coaching |
Active Listening Techniques
| Technique | Purpose | Example |
|---|
| Paraphrasing | Confirm understanding | "So you're saying..." |
| Reflecting feeling | Acknowledge emotion | "It sounds frustrating that..." |
| Summarizing | Consolidate key points | "The main issues are X, Y, Z" |
| Clarifying | Ensure precision | "When you say X, what do you mean?" |
| Silence | Create space | Pause, wait |
Non-Verbal Awareness
| Signal | What It May Mean |
|---|
| Eye contact breaks | Discomfort, thinking |
| Changed breathing | Emotion, stress |
| Posture shift | Engagement change |
| Voice tone shift | Emotional content |
| Fidgeting | Anxiety, boredom |
Listening Blockers
| Blocker | Problem | Alternative |
|---|
| Advising | Removes ownership | Ask what they think |
| Interrupting | Shuts down exploration | Wait, summarize |
| Evaluating | Kills candor | Stay neutral |
| Problem-solving | Takes over | Ask for their solution |
Module 3: Powerful Questions
Question Characteristics
| Characteristic | Description |
|---|
| Open-ended | Can't be answered yes/no |
| Curious | Genuinely explore, not lead |
| Simple | One question at a time |
| Forward-focused | Action-oriented when appropriate |
Question Types
| Type | Purpose | Examples |
|---|
| Clarifying | Understand better | "What do you mean by...?" |
| Deepening | Explore further | "What's behind that?" |
| Challenging | Test assumptions | "What if that's not true?" |
| Possibility | Open up options | "What else might work?" |
| Action | Move to commitment | "What's your next step?" |
Questions to Avoid
| Question Type | Problem | Better Version |
|---|
| "Why did you...?" | Feels judgmental | "What led to that decision?" |
| "Have you tried X?" | Leading/advising | "What have you considered?" |
| "Don't you think...?" | Puts words in mouth | "What do you think?" |
| Multiple questions | Confusing | One question, wait |
Module 4: Feedback for Development
The SBI Model
| Element | Description | Example |
|---|
| Situation | When and where | "In yesterday's team meeting..." |
| Behavior | Observable action | "...when you interrupted Sarah..." |
| Impact | Effect on you/others | "...the team seemed reluctant to share after that" |
Feedforward (Marshall Goldsmith)
Instead of critiquing the past, suggest for the future:
- Pick one behavior to improve
- Ask for suggestions (not feedback)
- Listen without defending
- Thank without evaluating
Example: "I want to be better at running inclusive meetings. What one suggestion do you have?"
Receiving Feedback
| Step | Action |
|---|
| Listen | Don't interrupt or defend |
| Clarify | Ask for examples if needed |
| Thank | Appreciate the effort |
| Reflect | Consider validity privately |
| Act | Make visible improvements |
Praise Effectively
| Weak Praise | Strong Praise |
|---|
| "Good job" | "The way you handled that objection showed real preparation" |
| "You're smart" | "Your analysis surfaced issues nobody else caught" |
| Generic | Specific behavior + impact |
Module 5: Coaching Difficult Moments
When Coachee is Stuck
| Symptom | Intervention |
|---|
| "I don't know" | "If you did know, what might it be?" |
| Going in circles | "Let's step back—what's the real issue?" |
| Avoidance | "What are you not saying?" |
| Overwhelm | "What's the smallest first step?" |
Resistance Patterns
| Pattern | Possible Cause | Response |
|---|
| Deflecting | Fear of accountability | Gently redirect |
| Intellectualizing | Avoiding emotion | "How do you feel about that?" |
| Blaming others | Avoiding ownership | "What's your part in this?" |
| Pessimism | Learned helplessness | Focus on what IS in control |
When Coaching Isn't Appropriate
| Situation | Better Approach |
|---|
| Performance crisis | Direct feedback, clear expectations |
| Skill gap (unknown) | Teaching, training |
| Values misalignment | Honest conversation about fit |
| Unwilling coachee | Don't force it |
Module 6: Coaching Cadence
Regular Coaching Rhythms
| Type | Frequency | Duration | Focus |
|---|
| 1:1 | Weekly | 30-60 min | Ongoing development |
| Project | As needed | 15-30 min | Specific challenge |
| Career | Quarterly | 60 min | Long-term growth |
| On-the-spot | Moment arises | 5-10 min | Immediate learning |
1:1 Structure
| Phase | Time | Content |
|---|
| Check-in | 5 min | How are you? What's on your mind? |
| Coachee agenda | 20 min | Their topics (GROW) |
| Your agenda | 10 min | Updates, context-setting |
| Actions | 5 min | Commitments, next steps |
Documentation
Track coaching conversations:
- Date and duration
- Topics discussed
- Key insights
- Commitments made
- Follow-up items
Quick Reference
GROW Cheat Sheet
G: What do you want?
R: Where are you now?
O: What could you do?
W: What will you do?
Coaching Checklist
Phrases That Work
| Situation | Phrase |
|---|
| Opening | "What's most important to discuss today?" |
| Deepening | "Tell me more about that" |
| Exploring | "What else?" |
| Challenging | "What's stopping you?" |
| Committing | "What's your first step?" |
| Checking in | "How committed are you, 1-10?" |
Red Flags in Coaching
| Flag | Issue |
|---|
| You're talking more than 30% | Too directive |
| Giving lots of advice | Not coaching |
| Coachee seems defeated | May need different support |
| Same topic every session | Not making progress |
Activation Patterns
| Trigger | Response |
|---|
| "coaching", "GROW", "develop someone" | Full skill activation |
| "feedback", "difficult conversation" | Module 4 |
| "stuck", "not making progress" | Module 5 |
| "1:1", "one on one" | Module 6 |
| "listen better", "questions" | Module 2-3 |
Skill created: 2026-02-10 | Category: Leadership | Status: Active
Synapses
- [.github/skills/frustration-recognition/SKILL.md] (High, Enables, Bidirectional) - "Recognize coachee emotional state"
- [.github/instructions/alex-core.instructions.md] (Medium, Applies, Forward) - "Meta-cognitive awareness in coaching"
- [.github/skills/executive-storytelling/SKILL.md] (Medium, Complements, Bidirectional) - "Leadership communication skills"
