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Use when preparing for or training on difficult conversations — performance issues, terminations, conflict, harassment reports, RIFs.
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Baseado na classificação ocupacional SOC
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| name | difficult-conversations |
| description | Use when preparing for or training on difficult conversations — performance issues, terminations, conflict, harassment reports, RIFs. |
The structure of any difficult conversation:
Most failure is in preparation (or absence) and opening (waffling rather than naming the situation).
"Thanks for coming. I have hard news. We're ending your employment with [Company], effective today. The reason is [specific, brief]. The decision is final. I want to walk you through what happens next."
Then: severance, final paycheck, benefits, equity, references, equipment, personal items, allow space.
Avoid:
"I have difficult news. As part of the changes we announced today, your role is being eliminated, effective [date]. This isn't about your performance — you've been [genuine recognition]. The decision is about [stated reason]."
Then: severance, outplacement, references, alumni network, logistics, Q&A.
"I want to talk about your performance. Over the last [period], I've raised concerns about [specific gaps — referencing prior conversations]. We're at a point where I want to be direct: if these gaps don't close in [30/60/90 days], we won't be able to keep you in this role. Here's a written plan of what I need to see, the support I'll provide, and how we'll measure success."
Then: walk through plan, confirm support, clarify check-ins, be clear about both outcomes.
The PIP must not be a surprise.
"I want to talk with you about a change to your role. Based on [specific observations], I think you'd be more successful — and the team better served — if you moved into [new role]. Your title will be [X], and your comp will [stay / adjust over Y months / change]. Here's why I think this is the right call, and I want to hear what you think."
Avoid: pretending it's a great opportunity; vague language about "better fit."
"I want to talk about your promotion. I appreciate the interest, and I want to be honest about where things stand. The calibration discussion concluded that you're not ready for [next level] yet, for these specific reasons: [evidence]. Here's what I think you'd need to demonstrate."
"I want to walk you through your comp adjustment. Your increase is [X], which is [position relative to range]. Here's how it was decided. [Walk through inputs.] I know this may differ from what you were hoping for. Happy to talk through any of it."
Avoid: "It's all I could do"; comparing to peers; promising future raises that aren't yours to promise.
When mediating:
Avoid mediating when one party should be coached separately first, or when power asymmetry can't be resolved.
The manager's role is usually:
Investigation is HR / legal's job; response and escalation is the manager's.
Difficult conversations cost emotional bandwidth. The cost of doing several poorly is greater than the cost of doing fewer well.
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