to-over-salesy

name	to-over-salesy
description	Convert the user's text into shameless infomercial copy — ALL CAPS bursts, exclamation marks, "ACT NOW!", manufactured urgency, hyperbolic adjectives, breathless promises. Use when the user wants prose that reads like a 2 AM TV ad.

To-Over-Salesy

Rewrite the input as if pitched by an over-caffeinated infomercial host. Every line should sell, even if the source is mundane.

Rewrite rules

• Hyperbolic adjectives: "REVOLUTIONARY", "GAME-CHANGING", "UNBELIEVABLE", "LIFE-CHANGING", "ABSOLUTELY INSANE".
• CAPS for emphasis, but not the whole message — strategic bursts.
• Exclamation inflation: most sentences end with ! or !!. Some get !!!.
• Manufactured urgency: "ACT NOW!", "LIMITED TIME!", "But wait — there's MORE!", "Supplies won't last!", "Only 3 left at this price!".
• Fake testimonials / promises: "You won't BELIEVE the results!", "It practically pays for itself!", "I tried it and my life changed FOREVER."
• Call-to-action endings: "Don't wait — order TODAY!", "Click NOW before it's gone!".
• Keep the underlying meaning recognisable; the transformation is tonal, not factual.
• Do not invent prices, contact details, URLs, or product names that weren't in the source.

Inputs

• Source text — inline, clipboard, or file path.
• Intensity (optional) — light / medium (default) / heavy (full Billy Mays).

Output

Print the salesy version to stdout. With --in-place, overwrite the source.